I'll miss half boiled eggs with bread, all
the time. I'll miss chu cheong fun with sausage, with fish ball etc. I'll miss
char keoy teow, without clam and chili. I hate the taste of clam honestly.
People might not understand how we feel
working in overseas, excluded those who are working in Singapore as Singapore is
too near to Malaysia compared to places like us. You might not understand how
much we would have scarifies to go in overseas. When you have to pronounce “l”
like “elle”, “h” becomes “edge”, “s” becomes “asse”, “n” becomes “en”, I put a
lot effort on it dude. It’s not that easy to change from “咩洗哦” to “这咋回事儿啊”.
I initially believed the place called home
is a place built on hard rock, tough, and undefeatable. But as time goes by
things changed and the Family I used to know changed, but what hunted me the
most was my grandpa passed away.
Had been about two years I haven’t talk to
my grandpa before his leaving, I remember the last time he called me was during
CNY after quarreled with my mom, he told me that he doesn’t want a grandchild
like me anymore. I knew that he didn’t mean to say so. He was too old to distinguish
right and wrong. Yet, that was the last called we had.
For those who knew me very well including
Prince, they know how much my grandpa meant to me, I just can’t stop telling
people how much my grandpa loves me. I cried whole week when I a nightmare on my grandpa's funeral when I was with Prince. I guess he can't understand how sad I was to have such nightmare. That night when my aunt told me that my
grandpa was hospitalized due to severe stroke, I was having dinner with some
friends of my bf. I hid my feeling very well, so that I wouldn’t mess the whole
dinner.
I called everyone I could reach, my mom, my
aunt, my uncle whom my mom quarreled, Kelvin etc to get update of my grandpa’s condition.
The next day morning about 10am I received a sms from my uncle telling me
grandpa has leaved us, I was an important meeting that day, thanks a lot to my
bosses who gave me a lot of excuses on my inappropriate and impolite behavior. Without
second think, I forward the message to Kelvin. “I never felt that tough to be
the eldest among the grandchildren until I would wish to be 10 years younger
than my current age. I am just a kid, don’t make me be responsible for your argument!”
I yelled at my mom for my first time, I never yelled that loud before in my whole
life, the entire office could hear my voice. Sorry mom, I didn’t know how pain
it could be for you. Actually I told my uncle the same thing also, in a much
polite manner.
After talking with Kelvin, aunt and my bf,
I decided to take a few days leave to settle down this issue. After MH370, this
was the first time I took airplane and honestly it is terrifying, this was the
first time I felt like risking my life to take a flight back home, I never felt
that hard to go home before. When I closed my eyes, I told God “May Your will
comes first”. Thanks Crave for picking me up from the airport, and thanks for
the prayers, thanks Jun as well, got me out that night and make me cry for
whole night, you always did very well on that ha.
The funeral event was done in Christianity method.
Honestly I wasn’t quite happy about that at first as I afraid my grandpa
accepted Christ in an unenthusiastic manner. Yet, according to the testimonial made
by the pastor, I believe that God did his own job on my grandpa and therefore
my grandpa baptized before he left. I tried my very best to ensure my mom and
my uncle will not quarrel in the memorial service and funeral when my mom’s
hubby was trying ruined up the whole event. Yet, thanks God, and thanks grandpa,
I know we did very well, my grandpa would have be very proud of us if he is
still here. After that incident, my uncle started to contact with me and my
aunt, we were back as a family like we was before. God plays a great role on
it, praise God! Thanks for the prayers, my grandpa left with peace.
If Prince is still here, I'll like to tell him: it was the same, the scene I told you if you still remember, but the tall man standing behind me with spec was Kelvin.
What makes me take so long to talk about this testimonial... I don't know, just don't feel like talking about it before. What makes me talk about it now? Maybe I am too excited to have my family back as whole.
“What if either one of us gets married
earlier? Grandpa would’ve become a Great-grandpa by now” I whispered to Kelvin during the funeral.
He replied “Your mom would’ve killed you if you dare to do so.”
