Another upset night

Another day he didn't sms or call me again. He is too busy sometimes. Wondering what keeps him busying again, he would never tell me. Even if he does, I don't think I can 100% understand his situation as well, slowly he started to keep everything with himself again. I shouldn't ask too much or else he will feel stress or feel like hiding away from me, he said so.

Although we know each other so long, sometimes I will felt piss off due to his style- cold cold style. I remember when he started to approach me, he was so nice and always stick with me and watch football with me...it seems so far away when I look back now, maybe this is so called aquarius style, scorpio will never understand them.

Suddenly reminded he said he might be too busy until forget my birthday after I saw the Barney Birthday Cake. This is my 21st birthday, I thought I should celebrate with him. I thought he knows I really wish to celebrate with him. I was believing he will be with me that day...I told him when we were first started, but i guess he had forgotten everything I said. Perhaps I should blame myself, why am I born on November? Why not July? Why not when he is free? Or I should think twice now, should I continue or just let go?

barney bday cake

Many friends celebrating birthday around this, freaking tired due to keep thinking what to buy for the present for each friend...different friend have different taste and different style, so need to think differently lo! this eat up alot of my brain's space...

Accidently saw a cake's photo, Barney Cake! I guess many people also know that Barney is my favourate cartoon..hahahaha... SeeSee always scold me for being so childish and like this kind of cartoon...

I want to have this cake leh...but i guess it must be very very expensive..and...don't know can eat or not..hahahaha...
Perhaps even if somebody buy me this I also don't know how to eat it...

Quarrel with Ivan last night. He said he is too busy with all his friends and academic matters and he has no time for himself. He started to feel stress whenever I call him and started to don't feeling like picking up my calls. He said wanna break up with me as he feel more comfortable when we are friends. He think I might meet someone better and he doesn't want me to lost my opportunity to meet a new and better guy. This is the second time he said break up but I refuse to do so. Sounds cheap huh?! I don't wanna let go, I don't think breaking up is a good way to solve the problems and it's impossible for us to go back together once we breakup. Love is not a computer system, no undo, no redo, no cut and paste!

He always thought our problems occur because he is too busy but actually what I really want was honestly. He is not a good liar, whenever something is not right I can sence it eventhough he refuse to admit.

Braces (ortho)

Finally took off the braces, a weird feeling appear from the bottom of my heart. Yea, it had accompany me for one and half years. A lot of things had changed within this one and half years. From a noob girl who always dream for fairytales kind of future, until becoming more and more aggressive and materialistic, until one day later where I lost everything I had...until today trying to stand up again.

Remember the first day after I extracted first two teeth I went back home by public bus with the bleeding mouth and wool with blood. All the passanger stare at me like I am the monster, a little stared at me all way long with frighten eyes~

The 1st day when I step into the lecture class after the braces, the classmates all asking why do I do this..Yea, as most people know, my teeth wasn't very serious and it's fine even if i didn't waste the RM5K for the ortho...but...I want to be prettier ma! Cannot meh?!

Months later when people started to use to my new look (with braces), most people start saying I look prettier after put on braces (perhaps I am??! hahaha..) Anyway, I do feel more confident with myself and the braces had differentiate me with others (at that moment, I was the only one with braces in my class).

Finally taken off everything. Suddenly hate my teeth so much, it is so big! I wonder why didn't I realised that when I am wearing braces. Anyway, it's impossible for me to put it on again~ what I have now is RETAINER that I might need to wear for whole life. But I know myself, I wont be so good girl and wear it for whole life~ hahahaha