Got a bad dream this afternoon while napping. Someone left for a very long period (about 7 months) appeared again in my mind. Was it a bad sign or is it just an image? I wonder.. Anyway, that's shows that he is still part of my life, maybe not really in my life but he is there in my history, part of my grown up's journey and this is unremoverable and unable to deny. He was once my everything, my aim, my guidiance, the reason for me to work hard.. My life ruined totally after he left, at least for 5months I was living in hell.
About me and him.
He was my senior during tertiary study. He was the final year student and I was the third year student. For coincidence, we both left message on a lecturer's wall (facebook wall) and from there we know each other.
He is a brilian guy, with very good result. That's was my first sem in third year (we call it advance diploma). He guide me along the way of study, give me short notes he made, accompany me when I was in bad mood, give me tuition classes.. And soon later we went out for our first date (23 January 2010). That night he confessed with me face to face and we officially started. We chat in the car until 5am. The next day, he posted the news on fb but not much people understand what is it about except both of us. He told me I was the first girl who able to reach his heart during his tertiary school time, he always complaint why we didn't meet earlier so that we can start earlier and have more time getting together. He swore he will compensate my bad childhood and what I've been through with his heart and his love.
We was very happy everyday, life is just like fairy tales. I always think that he must be coming from somewhere in the heaven, a present from above. He is not belongs to the earth, he is just too perfect and I am so blessed to get such good man. Life's goes so smooth until 9 Febuary. Actually, question marks started to pop out and I don't know how to ask or tell him what I felt... So I decided to burn it. That's me, I want all or nothing. And he agreed to break up.
While I deleting my message in his phone, I discovered another girl quite close with him, Meiz Tan. Yea, she is the first girl appeared in his message list after my name. 2 weeks later after the break up, he started with this girl. That's what makes me pain, I trusted him 100% and that's what he gave me as return. I choose to ignore what I feel in order to trust but that's what I got.
This experience taught me a great lesson, don't ever trust anyone 100% so that you won't get hurt, not even your love ones. Sweet talks are not trustable.
Luckily, I have my prince with me now, although alot of time things are not as perfect as what we thought but at least we try to give as much as we could to each other. I love him alot but although sometimes I may doubt him but thanks god for he is so understanding and accept everything about me.
That dream left me a question: What will I feel and do if I ever meet him again?
